Almost There...

Yesterday, my best friend and I worked on a project together. To be specific it was the last project we will ever work on together. When we were finished, as pathetic as it is, we cried. It was sad. We always do that stuff together and here it was, the last project we ever will work on. It was just another lovely reminder that High School is ending. We really do make a good team. I type like a million miles a minute and she is creative. I type up the power point and she makes it pretty and organized. I don't know what I am going to do without her next year. I have only done one power point without her before. I guess next year I am going to have find someone else with the patience to fix up my power points for me.

After we finished crying we sat around and talked about practically our entire High School careers. It was fun but it was sad. It is so weird talking about High School ending. We both know that it is going to end but we just can't accept it. It is so surreal. I can't accept the fact that in a week and three days I will never walk through those double doors again. It is a very weird feeling because I am excited but not.

The comforting thing is that everyone feels the same way that I do. My friend and I were commiserating together yesterday and today during gym all of the seniors were sitting in a circle talking together and everyone mostly feels the same way. We all want to graduate but we are scared and know that is going to be hard to leave our friends.

I know I am going to miss my friends so much. We all have went through so muc together. My other really close friend was telling me that she thinks it is going to be really hard to meet people when she goes aways because she is going to be comparing everyone she meets to us. I know exactly what she means but I guess when we are all there, at college, things will be completely different.

I can't wait to see what happens the last day of school. I want to see how everybody in my grade reacts as we all leave for the last time. Every year we all watched that year's Seniors leave and this year everyone is going to watching us.

Whats the Deal With Prom?

I never knew that one night could cause such a controversy. It is a very dramatical situation. Prom is next month and that is literally all that everyone talks about. The tables have turned. First it was all about college, then it was all about graduation, and now it is all about Prom. I never knew that it was possible to be able to be so obsessed with Prom, because that what it is, an obsession. Every time I talk to someone in school the conversation always winds up at Prom. Everyone wants to know everything, your dress, your hair, what limo you are taking, what you are doing after, who is in your limo, who is your date, where is your pre-prom, and like a million more things after that.

My favorite thing is when everyone talks about their dresses. You would think that it was like their baby by the way everyone talks about it. I can understand how everyone likes their dress, I mean they should if that's what they are going to be wearing when they get a million pictures of taken of them, but anyways, their is no need to treat the dress like a child. Guess what guys, your dress does not have feelings and its not alive, despite what you may think. Another thing, its not the end of the world if you get it dirty because there is thing called a dry cleaner that you can bring it too.

If someone is not talking about their dress, the next best thing to listen to them talk about is what they are doing after. My entire grade sucks and no one knows how to plan ANYTHING. So basically no one knows what they are doing, which makes the conversation very interesting to listen to because basically all you do is hear people talking about their tentative plans, which may not sound interesting but for some reason it is to me because I am one of those people. At first my friends and I were going to get a hotel and then we were like no lets get a house. Then I called a bagillion places and got shot down by all of them because it was for after prom and I, the saint, cannot tell a lie. So then we were back to hotels but then we got invited to go in on another group for another house. We had the plans all set and then the owner of the house screwed all 60 of us over so now we are back to square one. I think now we are going back to someones house and twiddling our thumbs all night.

Okay, my prom rant is not over yet because I got another kicker for you guys. My best friend got mad at me because I "stole" her prom hair. No joke. She was like describing what she wanted to do and I was like, "sounds nice", when I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. Then I went and got a free test hairstyle thing at the mall and I showed it to her and she told me I stole her hairstyle and did what she wanted to do. I don' get it though. Her hair is short and dark and mine is long and light. Please tell me how I stole her hair because it does not make any sense to me what so ever. Oh also, going back to dresses, she yelled at me for trying on a blue and brown dress when her dress was blue and drown, even though the dresses were completely different. I didn't know prom was worth fighting.

Another lovely fight was over the limo. One person wanted a hummer and then someone else wanted an escalade and then someone else thought we should get a party bus and stay in that the whole night. I feel really out of the loop because I had no idea that all of these things were even possible.

I can't believe this is the focus of my life right now. There are people starving in places and here I am worrying about my Prom night. Really does this stuff even matter, like in twenty years at my reunion is everyone going to be talking about their prom limo? I highly doubt it. Basically I just want to have a fun night and for all this stupid crap to stop. I am going to be so mad if it is not worth all this stress and time and work.

Reminiscing...

School is almost over. It is so weird to think about and I cannot believe it is happening. I feel like it was yesterday when my dad dropped me off for my first day. I moved the second day of freshman year so my dad had to drive me from my old house. It was a twenty minute drive and I had to get up at 5:45 so I wouldn't be late. He felt sorry for me so he stopped and got me Dunkin Donuts on the way to school. When I got to school I had no clue where my first class was so by the time I got there I was so scared and when I walked in I didn't know where to sit. I know it sounds ridiculous but I didn't know anybody and I didn't want to sit where I would be in between someone and their friend. I got even more nervous when the teacher called my name because everyone turned around and looked at me because I was new. That whole first week was really hard and I don't know when it happened, but I made friends and I started talking to a lot of different people. After a while I finally became happy about the fact that I moved.

I have to write my Senior thesis. Supposedly, it is a "reflection on our high school career." I have no clue what that means and my teacher told me to write about myself and how I have changed. I don't even know where to begin for that paper because so much has happened to me since I started that first day. Looking back I am so glad that I moved. I made a lot of friends and I became more outgoing. I'm definitely not as shy as I was in middle school.

Senior year has been amazing. I think this has been the best year of my life. I don't know why, but I am just having so much fun. I almost never get homework, just projects so unless I have something due the next day, I can see my friends at night. I am so excited to leave for college and end high school but I know I am going to miss my friends. I think that is going to be one of the hardest things about going to college, leaving my friends.

Wouldn't It Be Nice If We All Had An Undo Button

Last night I was doing my usual nightime computer ritual of procrastinating doing my homework, stalking people on facebook, and playing a game. I don't play alot of video or computer games because I am not that good at them and honestly, who wants to play a game that they aren't good at? So, my guilty pleasure, the one game that I am good at, is Spider Solitaire.

Now, I personally think that Spider Solitaire is possibly the most underrated game ever. I don't know why, but whenever I go on the computer I like have to play it. Its like I am drawn to it. I often find myself saying "just one game" and then that one game turns into twenty (thats what happened every time I went to go do my 20 page research paper for English). I am so addicted to it its not even funny.

As I was playing last night I got to a point in the game where I had two choices to make of practically the same move. I had two different threes and I didn't know which one to move. I moved one of them and I didn't find the card underneath it useful so I hit "undo". It was if I had never moved the first three. I then moved the other three and underneath it was a very useful card. If only life was this simple.

Wouldn't it be nice if we all had an undo button in our life? Everything would be alot easier, whenever you messed up you could just hit undo and then it would be like nothing ever happened. Or even bettter, if you had two choices, you could try one of them and if it didn't work out you could just hit undo and try your other choice.

I wish I had an undo button. I could try out all the different options I have for college and then that would be the end of it. No more worrying about if I am making the right choice, no more stress, no more nagging from my mom, it would be so nice. Unfortunately, undo buttons only exist on computer games so I am going to have keep doing things the human way.

Mean Girls is a Reality

I love movies. To me one of the best things about being sick is that you can lie around all day and watch them. My favorites are anything either scary, funny, or relatable. I can't deal with anything romantic, because honestly, it makes me want to gag. Scary movies are good for me at night but on those days when I am home sick I just want something to make me laugh.

The movie that always does it for me is Mean Girls. It is one of my favorite movies of all time. Mean Girls scarily paints the perfect picture of High School/Middle School and anyone who says that it doesn't, is a liar. While it is a little over the top in doing so, it shows just how mean some girls are to each other. High School is sometimes scary like that. You walk by a group of girls and they are all just whispering and you can't help but wonder who are they talking about now, or even worse, are they talking about you.

One of the reasons that I am so excited for College is that I am going to be able to get away from all those girls in my school that I honestly just don't like. I don't need them to make me feel like I am being talked about behind my back. I would rather be in my group of 6 than their group of 20 if it means that I am not going to be talked about behind my back.

Last Friday night I went out with my friend from school and one of her friends and then one of her friends because they are all going to Binghamton. We all had alot fun together but at one point it was me and my friend in the bathroom. We were talking about the other two girls, we weren't saying anything bad but we were just talking about them. While we were talking I was thinking to myself, "What are they saying about me, What do they think of me?" It was actually kind of nervewracking because I couldn't tell if they liked me or not. They were really nice but I just could not get that thought out of my head.

As funny as Mean Girls is, it is a reality. High School is full of clicks and girls are mean to each other. It is so true that it is scary. I just want to go to college and get away from all that stuff in school.

Good Ol' Mom and Dad

Parents are special people. There is no other way to put it. They take care of you, they take you places (until you can drive and then they let you have the car), they embarrass you, they make you mad, they give you advice, and, most importantly, they love you no matter what you do.

My parents are special people. They are very special. And interesting. Lets just say I have got some stories. Anyways, I know they love me no matter what I say or do so I try to do the same back to them. When they embarrass me I try to let it go because it is actually almost funny. So, I deal with the embarrassment and all the other little annoying things that they do to me. Because of this, for the most part, my parents and I get along and we don't fight. I actually hate fighting with people in general and I especially hate fighting with my parents. Thats why I let so much go, its just not worth the fight. We aren't perfect though, we do fight and one of the few times is when either my mom or dad or both don't agree with a choice that I make.

I have a really hard time making decisions and choosing stuff so when I finally decide on something I am really happy. Yesterday, I finally made a decision about college (I am going to stay at home for the fall and got to college at home and then go to Binghamton in the spring unless I get taken off the waiting list for the fall) so I called my Dad to tell him what I wanted to do. I thought that he would be happy for me but all that happened was he started yelling to talk to my Mom.

That was not exactly the reaction that I was expecting from him, so I got mad at him and started yelling that he is not the one going to college, I am, and it is my decision because it is my life and not his. So then he started yelling back at me and then I gave the phone to my Mom and he started yelling at her that she pushed me in the wrong direction and that she should have been pushing me to go to Buffalo in the fall and not stay at home. When I heard that I got even more mad because all along my Dad has been saying he doesn't care where I go or what I do as long as I am happy but I guess all along he has been lying because he obviously does care.

I don't think I have ever been so mad at my Dad before. When he got home last night I did not say one word to him. I only spoke to him to ask if he was ready to apologize to me yet. He said no and that he was not going to apologive because he had nothing to apologize for. So then that was that.

My Dad will come around eventually and when he does, I will be waiting for him with open arms. Like I said, parents are special, and in my case stubborn, so I guess they should be handled with care.